Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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