I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
