I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
