He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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