Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize