No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize