scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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