At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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