i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
