like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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