No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
