he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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