maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize