You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
