i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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