They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
