A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
