life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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