She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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