You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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