I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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