This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize