Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
