he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
