is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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