My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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