For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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