lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
