This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
