by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
