There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
What a fucking waste of an outfit
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
