A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
50% drunk capacity currently
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
