Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
