what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
