just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize