I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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