I understand Curling. That high.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
