But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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