At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
