I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
