Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
