If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
