Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
