What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
