I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
