just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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