Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
