Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
