I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
