She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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