Will you blow on my dice?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
