Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
