I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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