after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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