Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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