well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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