We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
