the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Your cock deserves a montage
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
