Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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